Falling for your hookup

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Understandably, you've thought of nothing else since… but you're no longer obsessing over the magical feeling of her-lips-on-yours or the sight-of-him-shirtless. Oh no, no, no. Your gut has doubts and your head has questions.

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This might be new information for many ladies out there, but not every guy is the hookup type. I know. Always have sex on your own terms.

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Sometimes it works out and you end up as more; other times, not so well. Do you actually have a thing for him or have you just fallen for how well he treats you in bed? Make sure you actually care about him and not just his body.

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This makes it increasingly difficult to tell if the other person really likes you after the first few hookups. You may develop feelings for them, but do they now just see you as a hookup and nothing else? That seems to be the biggest problem in the dating world today. He always wants to make it abundantly clear that he wants nothing else, using these signs.

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They seem to get off on not just, well, getting off, but also pretending that this whole thing is more than sex. When your hookup behaves in ways outside the realm of a booty call, it puts pressure on you. What is this?

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If the movies No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits have taught us anything — because let's face it, they both have essentially the same plot — it's that even the most well-intentioned FWB situation can be ruined by those pesky little things called feelings. It makes sense to eventually start feeling some type of way about someone you're hooking up with on the reg, but that doesn't stop catching feels from potentially complicating your agreement. That's why these seven honest phases of developing feelings for your hookup buddy are so real.

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Sometimes you have to pull the words out of someone's mouth to know how they feel about you. And sometimes you know in your gut and it's clear as day. But other times we miss out on the signs that people are sending us because we're looking in the wrong places.

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The hook-up culture has been designed by sexual people for sexual people. Being founded on tiny thrills and flirtatious pleasures, it allows us not only to actualize our wildest dreams, but also to explore, without any judgment or shame, the inane, frivolous side of what we call physical attraction. Aside from the precedent about consensual adults, casual sex has only one unwritten rule — that the perfect stranger must leave the scene of the crime before the first morning coffee.

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What happens, though, when he becomes your go-to hookup? If this lasts for a few weeks, a month, or longer — are you unofficially dating? Eighty percent said sometime in the past they had been in, what they considered to be a long-term hookup.

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Sometimes, that means being a little strategic. In addition to being healthy and empowering, these habits will also make you generally more intriguing and attractive to whomever you happen to be dating. There are fewer things more tempting and entertaining than the three-hour brunch or happy hour catch-up with your girlfriends during which the conversation revolves around interpreting the mixed-signal text messages from your latest dating prospect.

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